I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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