is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
