my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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