What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
