dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize