he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
