well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
