I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
