Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
