just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My bed smells like the plague
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
