Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
