Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
