god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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