and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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