my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
