the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
