i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
