i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just want nice things and good sex
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize