Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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