And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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