guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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