So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You took a bar mat shot.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
