If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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