If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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