There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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