break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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