My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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