Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
