I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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