I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
