Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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