carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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