i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize