found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
