3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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