Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
