i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
