I love black thongs
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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