you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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