so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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