After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
