I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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