doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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