I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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