I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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