So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
