Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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