At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize