he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
