Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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