that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
