How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
