What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
