Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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