can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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