This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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