It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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