C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
