This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
